One Thing No One Will Ever Be Able to Do

There are many things human beings are capable of doing. Just take a look at the creation of the Internet, astronauts going to outer space, and most recently “Spray Cake.” There is one thing, however, that we as human beings cannot do.

Early on in my career, I used to become frustrated when some of the patients I provided care for didn’t improve. Usually this would happen because they didn’t follow my recommendations for one reason or another. Then one day it hit me:

I can’t change people

in fact…


Why we can’t change others

To think we can change others, means we think that we have control over others. It’s amazing how many of us think that we have control over certain things, which are, in fact, really out of our control. We can try to force people to do things, which may bring about changes driven by fear, but coercion eventually backfires, creating resistance, resentment and even rebellion. (Just look at all of the world empires in the past.)

We can influence how others feel or how others react, but again, it is their choice as to how they will let it affect them. I can blatantly disrespect 2 different people. One person may want to lash out at me, but the other may ignore me and go on about life.

So how can we change?

We can change once we can accept the fact that the only control we have is over ourselves. This frees us from trying to control everything outside of us, that we really don’t have control over. By doing this, we in effect, can change the world around us. Mahatmah Ghandi once said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

If we make positive changes in ourselves, we can set a good example for others and motivate others to make positive changes. Positivity (like negativity) is contagious, and through a domino effect we can make a positive impact on a universal level. We can also promote change by supporting others and providing them with a healthy environment for when they are ready to change.

This does not mean, however, that we should change ourselves to make others like us or view us a certain way. This is still a form of control and will attract controlling and manipulative people into our life. Wanting others to view us differently implies that deep within we don’t want them to see who we really are, which is an imperfectly perfect human.

People change when they want to change

I can help in changing a lot of things when it comes to people’s health (blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc). Ultimately those changes occur when a patient makes the choice to take my advice and/or be accountable for his or her own health. Take smoking cigarettes, for example. The most successful way I have ever known someone to quit smoking, was to JUST QUIT. They didn’t need a nicotine patch, e-cigs or even prescription medications. It didn’t happen when someone else wanted them to quit. They did on their own terms.

Making the impossible, possible

I’m glad I learned early on in my career that I can’t change people. I know that my intentions are to help people and I will do my part, and that’s all that matters. If you can accept the fact that the only control you have is over yourself, you will lift a huge burden off of your shoulders and you won’t need to control life, because then life will just flow.

If you want to see changes in your life and your world, stop trying to change the outside. Stop fighting others. Stop trying to control others. Change yourself on the inside and the outside changes will follow.

Do you have an idea, product, or skill set that can help change the world? Consider sharing it at the World’s First Pay it Forward Platform at the You can also check out my book for some helpful tips on how to make positive changes within.

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Let me know what has helped you move forward with changes in your life in the comments below.

Erectile Dysfunction: Something Worth Talking About

erectile dysfunction

The Little Blue Pill

Viagra has come under scrutiny lately with a study showing that it may be associated with an increased risk of developing melanoma. Erectile dysfunction (ED), the inability to achieve or maintain an erection, affects more than 18 million men over the age of 20. It’s well known that men don’t typically like to go to the doctor, let alone discuss their genitourinary health. This can leave many men with ED undiagnosed and untreated.

In my experience, many male patients presenting with ED will usually ask for a prescription of Viagra, without wanting to disclose any further information. What many people don’t realize, is that erectile dysfunction is not an “Oh by the way” kind of diagnosis, and can be a sign of serious underlying disease in the body.

Erections and Erectile Dysfunction

Erections occur when blood flow in the penis increases as a result of penile nerve stimulation. Smoking, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease are just a few things that can affect blood vessels and/or nerves, in turn affecting the ability to have an erection. Hormone imbalances, increasing age, depression and certain drugs (SSRIs) can also cause erectile dysfunction. Nowadays with the increased prevalence of some of the causes mentioned above, it’s no wonder why so many men are affected by ED.

ED Treatment

Phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) inhibitors such as Viagra, Cialis and Levitra dilate blood vessels, allowing blood flow to increase in the penis. What these medications don’t do, however, is work on the underlying causes mentioned above. Cardiovascular disease is the number 1 cause of death in Americans. It is caused by smoking, high cholesterol, diabetes and hypertension; all which can be reversed with simple lifestyle changes. A healthy diet, exercise, managing stress and not smoking, will not only decrease the risk for heart attacks and stroke, but will also contribute to a healthier sex life. Many young men with depression are also faced with ED and treating depression will also improve overall quality of life as well.

The “little blue pill” like most pills, won’t fix things. Pills are a tool in the healing process, which also have risks and side effects associated with them. With any disease, it’s important to not only identify and treat the underlying cause, but to find out the deeper reasons causing an individual to engage in unhealthy habits in the first place.  

Don’t suffer in silence

If you or a loved one has erectile dysfunction, make sure to bring it up to a healthcare professional.  It’s less about the ability to perform sexually, as it is a sign that something more serious could be going on. If you can intervene sooner rather than later, it may be enough to prevent permanent damage. Doctors are here to help, and the only way we can do this is if we talk about it.